Breed Selection & the Greatest Dog Park Story Ever Told

Sticking to the unconventional nature of my advice here on Who Moved My Bone? I will further address the question of Breed Selection by telling the story of how my wife and I came to decide upon the breed of our latest addition, Emma the Bernese Mountain Dog.

From the day I met my wife she would always tell me how for her next dog she wanted one of the following breeds: a Doberman Pinscher, a Bernese Mountain Dog, or a “purse puppy” aka Maltese. I honestly had never heard of a Bernese Mountain Dog, there are no mountains in Florida! Being as I was not really ready for the commitment of having a dog with a girlfriend I never bothered to even research what Bernese Mountain Dogs were all about.

One day we were at the community dog park we always took Bosley to and it just so happened we met a lady with two dogs, one of which was a very large male Bernese Mountain Dog. She would always go to the same bench in the park and her Berner would always lay in the same place next to the bench, never really moving until it was time to leave. We routinely ran into this lady and her Berner which allowed me to get to know and consequently like the breed. So I began to think to myself, if we were ever in a situation to acquire another dog I would definitely consider a Berner. Several months later, during a trip to the dog park, I had an epiphany of sorts which ultimately led us to acquiring a Berner.

It was a typical Houston summer day, hot, humid and miserable. We decided to go to the dog park and when we arrived the lady and her Berner were already there. As usual she was sitting on the park bench and her Berner was lying down nearby. The park was somewhat busy that day and there was another lady on the bench having a conversation with the owner of the Berner. My wife and I were observing Bosley and were looking in the same general direction as the park bench. Then this petite lady, maybe in her 50’s, walked in front of the bench to pick up a tennis ball she had been throwing for her dog. As soon as the lady bent over, out of nowhere like a donkey on a waffle, that big Berner jumped up, mounted this lady from behind and went to town. He must have been planning and anticipating it because I have never seen a dog move so swiftly. It was kind of like witnessing something really awful, you know you should do something to stop it or help but you are kind of in a state of shock. The owner was so into her conversation with the lady sitting next to her she did not notice what was happening right in front of her. The poor petite lady who was being had apparently did not have the strength to get him off, the Berner must have weighed at least 130 pounds. It seemed like 10 minutes of humping had passed. I am guessing everybody else in the park was in just as much shock as us because nobody said anything or did anything to make it stop. Finally, the owner looked up and noticed what was happening and immediately told her Berner to get off the poor lady. Nonchalantly, the Berner simply dismounted and went right back to his spot in the dirt next to the bench. It was at that moment I looked over at my wife, who now had her back turned to the incident because she was laughing hysterically, and said “I want a Berner.” About a year later we finally got one. I wish I had been aware enough to take a picture with the camera on my phone because it was one of those $100,000 America’s Funniest Home Video moments.

Since I have now touched on dog parks maybe that will be the topic of my next entry.