How to Pick a Puppy | Who Moved My Bone?

Pick-A-Puppy

There are literally thousands of resources on how to select a healthy and happy puppy that will bring you years of joy. I am by no means downplaying the importance of that information. Things like: where/who to get your puppy from, selecting the right type of dog for your lifestyle and living situation, grooming requirements, examining eyes, ears, gums, anal regions, etc., etc. are all very important. It becomes even more important and should be more thorough when considering a breed that is prone to certain expensive disorders (i.e. hereditary and congenital diseases). My wife and I failed to follow the latter and it cost us to the tune of $20,000. Now, I will assume you will due the necessary due diligence which is good for eliminating the puppies you should not select but how do you know which one is the right one? You will not find this information in any book or on any website, well except here.

Puppies are like sharks, they bite. Using that analogy here is how you can interpret those bites to select the right puppy for you. (Note: for ease of writing and reading I am using he/him but these apply equally to male and female puppies)

The Fear Biter (The Nurse Shark) – This cute little puppy is shy, maybe he avoids the other puppies and your significant other may be tempted to pick him because he looks, “so cute and lonely”. That’s all good until you corner this puppy or go to pick him up and then the beast comes out. This puppy’s typical attack plan is the bite and run; avoid the fear biter like you would a STD.

The Killer (The Tiger Shark or Jaws) – What the hell did I ever do to this puppy? This little killer is the first one to run up to you and immediately grabs a hold of your shoelaces just to bait your hand down to his level so he can latch on to it and give it the death shake. Before long he is trying to hump everything in sight to show his dominance, even after you take away his manhood. These are the puppies you read about in the news; avoid the killer.

The Happy Excited Biter (The Angel Shark) – Alas this is the puppy you want, a happy medium between the Fear Biter and The Killer. Is usually not too far behind the Killer when you go to pick out your puppy but instead of latching onto your hand and going for blood he is trying to lick it. The Happy Excited Biter will nip you when playing rough or when antagonized but doesn’t leave you needing reconstructive plastic surgery. Pick the Happy Excited Biter and you will be happy too.

Now that you know how to select a puppy, next time we will investigate what breed of dog is best for you?